Dm            A7
Why not be an operator,
Dm             Gm
Cut it now and sew it later,
Dm         A7              Dm         A7
Surgery is where the heavy dough is.
Dm             A7
If a patient’s got ptomaine,
Dm               Gm
You can free him from the pain,
Dm             A7              Dm       C7
Soon as you discover where the toe is.


[Chorus]
F        G7
Surgery, Surgery,
C7
First you slice and then you stitch,
F
Cut it out and you’ll be rich,
         G7
Surgery, Surgery,
C7
There’s no peril, keep it sterile,
     F
Surgery.


[Verse 2]
Dm                A7
Why waste time in diagnosis
Dm            Gm
Life can be a bed of roses
Dm            A7                Dm   A7
And you never have to work your rear off
Dm                       A7
Your stream of life will soon be ripple-less
Dm                     Gm
If he comes in with Erysipelas
Dm                    A7       Dm  C7
All you have to do is take his ear off.
 


[Chorus]
F        G7
Surgery, Surgery,
C7
First you slice and then you stitch,
F
Cut it out and you’ll be rich,
         G7
Surgery, Surgery,
C7
There’s no peril, keep it sterile,
     F
Surgery.


[Verse 3]
Dm                     A7
Wiseguy patients never tease ya,
Dm                     Gm
When they’re under anesthesia,
Dm                      A7      Dm   A7
Surgery cuts down their jeering laughter
Dm                      A7
Keep your Mayo stand in order,
Dm                     Gm
Slash away and give no quarter,
Dm                         A7        Dm A7
Suture yourself and suture them thereaf-ter.


[Chorus]
F        G7
Surgery, Surgery,
C7
First you slice and then you stitch,
F
Cut it out and you’ll be rich,
         G7
Surgery, Surgery,
C7
There’s no peril, keep it sterile,
     F
Surgery.
 


[Verse 4]
Dm               A7
If a scratch has suppurated,
Dm         Gm
Surgery is indicated
Dm                       A7       Dm  A7
What he hasn’t got won’t give him trouble,
Dm                A7
Get his family to sign
Dm                      Gm
The cut along the dotted line
Dm                               A7      Dm  A7
And even if you’re wrong they’ll pay you dou-ble.


[Chorus]
F        G7
Surgery, Surgery,
C7
First you slice and then you stitch,
F
Cut it out and you’ll be rich,
         G7
Surgery, Surgery,
C7
There’s no peril, keep it sterile,
     F
Surgery.


[Verse 5]
Dm                    A7
Be it wart, keloid or cancer,
Dm             Gm
Surgery should be your answer,
Dm                  A7    Dm A7
Even if it’s just a wee biop-sy
Dm                          A7
Let this practice rule your life
Dm                                Gm
And though they call you Mack The Knife
Dm                              A7        Dm  A7
Your bank account will grow and grow like top-sy.
 


[Chorus]
F        G7
Surgery, Surgery,
C7
First you slice and then you stitch,
F
Cut it out and you’ll be rich,
         G7
Surgery, Surgery,
C7
There’s no peril, keep it sterile,
     F
Surgery.