D            Bm          Bb            A
What if John Lennon were still alive today
    G      A        D     D7
And he had not been shot?
    G            A            D        D/C#  Bm
The general consensus is that that would be nice
    E7                 A        A7
But I dare to say that it might not.

[Verse]
     D                Bm         Bb               A
He'd hang around with Geldof doing Live Aid and the like

[Chorus]
        Bb        A           D
Oh I'm glad John Lennon died.

[Verse]
D                       Bm         Bb             A
Now before you start to boo me and say that I'm a ****
   G      A             D  D7
Perhaps I should explain
   G                A        D        D/C#   Bm
He last wrote a good song in nineteen seventy one
       E7             A         A7
And he never wrote a decent thing again

[Verse]
    D            Bm                   Bb                  A
His music in the eighties would have sounded like Crowded House

[Chorus]
        Bb        A      D
Oh I'm glad John Lennon died.

[Bridge]
    C#
And here's a thought, imagine if
   C#
he made a guest appearance as a 
    C#7                      F#
panelist on Never Mind The Buzzcocks.
Ab
All his contributions would be painfully bad
Em                                          A
And to see him look so past is would be really sad.

[Verse]
     D              Bm            Bb             A
He'd always be on Twitter making really racist jokes

[Chorus]
        Bb        A           D
Oh I'm glad John Lennon died.

[Verse]
D Bm Bb A G A D
(Whistled)

[Verse]
   D    Bm              Bb            A
In 1990 Yoko would have killed him anyway

[Chorus]
        Bb        A      D
Oh I'm glad John Lennon died

[Bridge]
    C#
And by the way I wonder if
    C#
You ever stopped to think about
    C#7                         F#
Whatever would have happened to McCartney.
Ab
Everyone would still be saying "Paul is dead"
Em                                          A
And they would have named the airport after him instead

[Verse]
           D             Bm               Bb             A
Imagine if he instead of Neil Buchanan presented 'Art Attack'...

[Chorus]
       Bb        A      Dsus4
Oh I'm glad John Lennon died.