I've held my breath
For twenty fucking years
And hesitation brought me here
It makes it harder to believe
That I'll see you again
I'm so scared of growing up
I still act like I'm fifteen years old
Too early to give up
But too old to come home
I found myself at a distance
Empty highways and freezing train carriages
I never thought I'd see myself like this
Starving to death in this fucking city apartment

Well, I'm twenty-one
And so alone

Well, this distance it gave me an option
In the form of a shiny red apple
In it's dark red skin
I saw my reflection
But I couldn't take it
I sunk my teeth in

I watch your tail lights fade over this stale town
Your arm still waving from your windows
I can barely make it out
Barely make it out
It'll be a cold and quiet month
To spend alone in my head
But when you finally return
We'll be stronger for this
Stronger for this

I keep a tiny coloured print of you and I
The one that we took
At our friends engagement
Sometimes I catch myself swimming in your smile
And the crease over your eyes
If I try
I remember what they look like

I keep a tiny coloured print of you and I
Folded and creased like a bill
In the paper compartment of my wallet
A worthy home
For something that comes and goes

Oh, I now know why I've never felt at home
I'm happy and healthy in my head
But I've never felt so alone
I spend my days counting the lines along the road
They disappear right under me
Like all the places that I've been
Just thinking of you