Put this man on a stand
Just play him to the punters
With a bloody great big card marked "before".
I'm not getting out of here
I'm not getting out even if I have to
Even if it's all I can do.
This is the reason I stopped going to the pictures
This is the last thing that I thought could ever happen
I want off this case
I want off this case
But I know my place
By the way I like your face

Chorus:

I've had a thing about Shirley Maclaine since I was so high
Yeah I've had a thing about Shirley Maclaine since I was so high
Some of my life's like Nosferatu
Where the German guys go Ahhhh
It's not like love and it isn't like sex
And it's going to be that way for always
Map of africa hour therapist's field-day
Batten down the hatches there's a fire in the engine room
Let's not do that let's not talk about it
I don't read those books and by the way I like your looks

Chorus

Break down..

Kitty in a minefield doesn't set them off
Kitty in a minefield not heavy enough
Too cute to live too dumb to die
Too much in love to let it lie
Continental drift one more crowded elevator
Not another chemical attack from braindead matrons
Shut the door please shut the door
And flipper says "hi", yeah flipper says "bye-bye"

Chorus

Shirley Maclaine in a minefield
Betty Davis in a minefield
Audrey Hepburn in a minefield
Francis Farmer in a minefield